In a World Without You (1/6)

This is probably the most angsty thing I’ve ever written. I don’t know why I do this to myself, but sdjaskdjad this is just the direction the story wanted to go in, and I went with it ;A; This takes place some time after Kon’s death, so yeah… /sobs

Prompt: “If I open my eyes, you promise you’ll still be there?”

Requested by hayleyfails~

By the time Tim got to his room, he was tired. More than tired actually. He was exhausted. Exhausted and disappointed. His 45th attempt at the cloning process proved to be, once again, unsuccessful, but like always he couldn’t bring himself to stop. As soon as the computer was able, he quickly punched in the restart button and felt his hope rise as the simulation stated a 46th attempt was now in process.

He was more than aware that what he was trying to do was insane and probably impossible—and there was no way anything he could possibly create would ever amount to the real Kon. He knew he could never ever replace the one he lost.

But… he just couldn’t live in a world without Kon in it. This new ‘Kon’ would be enough. At least, enough for Tim to feel like he was whole again. One way or another, he was getting his best friend back. Even if he had to try a million times, so be it.

Tim fell against the mattress of his bed and shut his eyes. And just like that, he was seeing Kon again. Hear his laugh. See his smile. The blueness of his eyes. The scent of grass and sun and wind. And skin and lips that felt like fire when they touched Tim’s.

Tim…

“Kon…” Tim murmured, falling asleep to the ghost of fingers brushing over his hair.

******

Tim began to shake as the glow of red lights blinked the words right back at him:

87th Cloning Attempt: Fail.

“Computer,” he prompted through his teeth, “begin Cloning Attempt Number 88.”

“Cloning Attempt #88 now in process,” the computer relayed instantly.

“C’mon,” Tim muttered. In the back of his mind he can hear Kon whispering something to him again, his voice so close, but till so far. Tim squeezed his hands together. “C’mon.”

******

“Hey, Tim,” said Kon as they sat on the roof of the Tower, “do you think we’d still be friends if we weren’t superheroes? You know… like regular people?”

Tim raised an eyebrow at him. “What brought this up all of a sudden?” he asked.

Kon shrugged. “I guess it was something I heard Raven mention to Cassie once. About meeting certain people in your life, no matter what destinies we had.”

“You know I’m not much of a Houdini when it comes to things like fate,” said Tim wearily.

“I know,” said Kon and looked at the sky, where the stars were twinkling one by one. “I was just … curious, that’s all. I mean…” He shrugged again, as if trying to appear nonchalant about it, “I think it’d just suck if I never got to meet you.”

Tim felt his face begin to heat up and his heart start to pick up speed. He quickly tipped his head back and stared at the sky as well.

“Well, if we weren’t superheroes and just regular people,” he found himself saying, “I think we’d be as we are now.”

He felt, rather than saw, Kon grin at him. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said, playfully nudging Tim’s shoulder. “You’d probably still be a pain in the ass though.”

Tim shoved his shoulder back. “Speak for yourself,” he laughed.

******

125th Cloning Attempt: Fail.

“Again, computer,” Tim barked, his voice hoarse.

“Cloning Attempt #126 now in process,” said the simulation.

Tim sank to the ground and buried his face in his arms, trying to steady himself. His hands were trembling and he could scarcely breathe without his chest physically aching.

“What are you doing, Tim?” He heard Kon say in his head again, only this time the voice was louder, almost palpable enough for Tim to feel the consternation that came along with the tone.

Tim gripped his forearms tighter. “I don’t know,” he admitted. He wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t even bring himself to do that either. In a smaller voice, he said again, “I really don’t know anymore…”

Part 2